You may know that something feels off without knowing why.
You might feel on edge when you are safe, worry that people will leave, pull away when relationships become close, or use substances to manage difficult emotions.
These patterns can sometimes be connected to unresolved trauma or insecure attachment. Recognizing them does not mean blaming yourself or your past. It can help you better understand what you are experiencing and whether professional support may be helpful.
This guide explains trauma and the four commonly discussed attachment styles, offers questions for self-reflection, and outlines when to consider a professional assessment.
This is not a diagnostic test or a substitute for professional care. Only a licensed clinician can provide an assessment and diagnosis.
What is trauma?
Trauma is an emotional and physical response to an experience that overwhelms your ability to cope. In adulthood, it may follow a single event or repeated experiences such as violence, abuse, loss, a serious accident or illness, an unsafe relationship, military service, or ongoing instability.
Repeated or long-term experiences may contribute to complex trauma. This can affect emotional regulation, self-worth, relationships, and the ability to feel safe, even after the original experience has ended.
Trauma can also begin earlier in life. The SAMHSA child trauma resource explains that traumatic stress can develop when a child experiences or witnesses an event that feels intensely threatening. Without consistent support, these effects may continue into adulthood and influence how someone responds to stress, relationships, and difficult emotions.
A professional trauma assessment can help identify earlier experiences that may still be affecting you today. However, a screening score is only one part of the picture. Your experiences, relationships, support system, culture, and personal strengths also matter.
Understanding attachment styles
Attachment style refers to common patterns in how people respond to closeness, trust, conflict, and separation. These patterns often begin through early relationships with caregivers, but they can change over time.
Attachment styles are not diagnoses, and they are different from diagnosable attachment disorders. You may also recognize yourself in more than one style or respond differently depending on the relationship.
Use the questions below as an attachment style quiz for self-reflection, not as an official assessment.
Secure attachment
People with secure attachment generally feel comfortable with both closeness and independence. They can communicate their needs, manage ordinary conflict, and trust that a relationship can continue after a disagreement.
- Can I ask for support when I need it?
- Can I stay connected to someone while maintaining my independence?
Anxious attachment
Anxious attachment may involve a strong fear of rejection or abandonment. You may seek frequent reassurance, closely analyze changes in communication, or feel overwhelmed when someone needs space.
- Do I assume that distance means I have done something wrong?
- Does uncertainty in a relationship make it difficult to focus on other things?
Avoidant attachment
Avoidant attachment may make emotional closeness feel uncomfortable or risky. You may rely heavily on yourself, minimize your needs, or withdraw when another person wants greater intimacy.
- Do I shut down when conversations become vulnerable?
- Is it easier to leave or detach than to say that I am hurt?
Disorganized attachment
Disorganized attachment can involve wanting connection while also fearing it. You may move between seeking closeness and pushing it away, especially when a relationship feels uncertain.
- Do I feel safest alone but distressed when I feel disconnected?
- Do closeness or conflict trigger reactions I do not fully understand?
Common signs of unresolved trauma
Trauma can affect your thoughts, emotions, body, behavior, and relationships. The experience is different for everyone, and having one or more of these signs does not confirm a diagnosis.
Consider speaking with a professional if you regularly experience:
- Feeling constantly alert, guarded, or easily startled
- Intrusive memories, nightmares, or strong emotional reactions to reminders
- Numbness, disconnection, or difficulty identifying what you feel
- Shame, guilt, self-blame, or a persistent sense of being unsafe
- Trouble trusting others, setting boundaries, or maintaining close relationships
- Avoiding people, places, conversations, or feelings connected to the past
- Physical tension, sleep changes, stomach concerns, headaches, or unexplained discomfort
- Using alcohol or other substances to sleep, feel calm, connect, or escape
These reactions may be ways your mind and body learned to protect you. With support, you can begin developing responses that better fit your life today.
How trauma connects to substance use
Some people use alcohol or other substances to quiet memories, reduce anxiety, sleep, or create emotional distance. Although this may provide temporary relief, it can lead to additional health, relationship, and daily-life concerns over time.
When trauma symptoms and substance use affect one another, treatment should address both.
SAMHSA describes co-occurring disorders as the presence of both a mental health disorder and a substance use disorder. Its co-occurring disorders resource emphasizes that the conditions can share risk factors and that integrated care can address both.
At The Raleigh House, dual diagnosis treatment is designed to explore the complete clinical picture rather than treating substance use as an isolated problem.
You do not have to prove that trauma caused your substance use before asking for help. A licensed clinician can identify how your symptoms interact and recommend an appropriate level of support.
How The Raleigh House approaches trauma
The Raleigh House uses an East Meets West approach that combines evidence-based clinical care with experiential and holistic therapies. Treatment considers the whole person, mind, body, and soul, rather than focusing only on individual symptoms.
Depending on individual needs, trauma therapy may incorporate:
- Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT)
- Dialectical behavior therapy (DBT)
- Psychiatric support
- Somatic modalities
- Movement
- Nutrition
- EMDR therapy
Experiential options may include equine therapy, horticulture, art, and clinically interactive rock climbing. No single therapy is right for every person.
Key elements of care include:
- Fully licensed, well-tenured clinicians with master’s-level education or above
- A client-to-clinician ratio of 5:1 or lower
- Individual therapy at least twice each week
- Integrated treatment for mental health and substance use concerns
- Clinical and experiential programming seven days a week
Getting a professional assessment
A professional assessment is a conversation designed to understand what you are experiencing and what support may help. A clinician may ask about:
- Current symptoms and concerns
- Relationships and past experiences
- Mental and physical health
- Alcohol or other substance use
- Strengths, support systems, and treatment goals
Validated tools, including trauma screening or adverse childhood experiences screening, may also be used as one part of the evaluation.
The goal is not to force your experience into a label. It is to determine what kind of care may help you feel safer, more connected, and better able to move forward.
Ready to move forward with the care you deserve? Review The Raleigh House admissions process or speak confidentially with the admissions team.
Frequently asked questions
Is this an official diagnostic test?
No. This guide is educational and cannot diagnose trauma, an attachment disorder, a mental health condition, or a substance use disorder. Only a licensed clinician can conduct an appropriate assessment and provide a diagnosis.
What is the connection between attachment style and addiction?
Insecure attachment patterns may contribute to difficulty managing emotions, trusting others, or asking for support. Some people use substances to cope with those feelings, but attachment style alone does not cause addiction.
Biological, psychological, social, environmental, and spiritual factors can all play a role.
Can trauma from childhood affect me as an adult?
Yes. Childhood trauma can influence stress responses, emotional regulation, self-perception, and relationships later in life. Its effects vary, however, and early experiences do not determine your future. Supportive relationships and appropriate treatment can help people develop new patterns.
Does The Raleigh House treat trauma and attachment issues?
Yes. The Raleigh House treats primary mental health concerns, substance use disorders, and co-occurring conditions. Care may address trauma, complex PTSD, attachment patterns, anxiety, depression, and related concerns through individualized clinical, experiential, and holistic therapies.
Find the right setting for your next step
At The Raleigh House, treatment is shaped not only by your clinical needs, but also by the environment where care takes place.
The Ranch at The Raleigh House is located on 40 acres in the peaceful Colorado countryside near Denver. This nature-based setting offers space to step away from daily pressures and participate in experiences such as equine and horticulture therapy.
The Center for Integrative Behavioral Health is located in the Denver Tech Center. It offers the same clinical standard in a welcoming, physically accessible setting with advanced wellness modalities.
You do not need to identify your attachment style or fully explain your past before asking for help. Contact admissions at The Raleigh House to discuss what you are experiencing and determine which location may be right for you.